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Monday, February 25, 2013

Feb 25- Yoga Student Attacked by Monkey!


I’m at the Talakad temple, walking along devoutly with my pink bag and red saree, when out of nowhere- shazam! Monkey attack.  A big one, baring his teeth springs up at about waist level, reaching for the handle of my bag.  It’s one of those bags woven out of recycled plastic, what all the folks use here for going to market and carrying the lunch.  It’s great for spillage, keeps its shape so you can load in the tiffin containers of food, and stands up nicely in the car, rickshaw, or dangles safely from the handlebars of the motorbike. 

Thing is: they always contain food, these bags.  And mine is bright pink and yellow,  Yellow, like bananas.

I don’t back down to monkeys.  I’ve got experience with this sort of thing.  Mmm hmm.  Try me, monkey face.

Generally I yell at it, berate it for its thievery, because yes, monkeys are smart.  They know better than this.  But I was in a crowd, at the temple, and trying to be…ladylike.  So I swung the bag to bash it in the head.  Except the monkey wouldn’t release his hold.  He is swinging;  I am swinging, and nobody’s really having any success.

The locals are yelling in Kannada, “Get a stick!  Find the stick!”

The monkey falls back, but now I’m pissed.  I swing again, two-handed, yelling “hey hey!”  The monkey dodges, springs again, and grabs the bag, taking me by surprise, hanging from the bag.  I shake the bag.  It lunges a third time, hissing, and I realize it could go for my face, scratch my arms, or any other manner of rabies-inducing action. 

I decide I had better hit it, in the head, really good.  The wind up, the pink bag cuts through the air, there is a sharp intake of breath from the general public…

“Aaaack!!!” says Sanjay as he kicks sand into the monkey’s face.  Direct hit to the eye!  The monkey veers off to the side, and into the bush.  I am panting.

“You keep the bag,” says a lady nearby, showing me her market bag tucked under the armpit.  I am embarrassed at flaunting my food bag in front of monkeys.  But he came out of nowhere! Only monkey of the day. 

The crowd moves on, chuckling.  I am mad at monkeys for the rest of the afternoon, white-knuckling my bag. 

Thanks Sanjay.

5 comments:

  1. Those monkeys are a nuisance in Mysore, reminds me of the morning a friend missed practice, when we asked her why, she replied that a monkey had stolen her drying mat off her Balcony!

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  2. Wow! This is hilarious and a little shocking, that was one determined monkey!

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  3. those monkeys are too cheeky. and you're a brave yogi.

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