Feb 8 “Yelbows In”

Today I sat in Bhagavad Gita class and realized I left the stove going, brewing up one of those Ayurvedic decocotions. I had to run out of the class and up the streets, the 5 flights to my rooftop. I could smell the herbs from the stairs. Just in time, the mass of twigs still had enough water that nothing burned. Only my second day of intermediate in the shala and I’m already losing it! Today’s “pinnacle” backbend was already about as deep as I’ve ever come to. My friend Ursula was just saying yesterday, “it comes faster than you think it will.” Damn was she right. Sharath is telling the assistant to take my hands higher up my legs and telling me to keep my elbows in and I’m just trying to tell “YES.” It’s such a wondrous mind-trip, traveling through the intensity of it with trust. Inside the bend, I am not quite sure what is going on, but I do know I’m supposed to keep my elbows in and to balance on my legs while I wait for the center to come about, and then for it to be over! There is a beautiful thing about doing it once a day. You get one chance for all your moments in life and this practice is teaching me how to show up. We don’t beat around the bush, we don’t do all sorts of preparation (except all the days that came before this one), we just go for it. Surrender is imminent.

We push the envelope here once we’ve been practicing for a while, as a rule. I was shaking like a leaf. Really. Bent. I stood outside at the coconut truck and kept quiet. Everyone did, and I felt we were all in a similar zone today. Just the sound of a machete chopping nuts and a few slurping straws. Walked straight back home and chilled out. Just moved through a few simple tasks like washing a spoon and filling the laundry bucket to keep a focus on this plane. But apparently, as the day went on, I drifted off into the place where I leave the stove on while I go off to class. I shot right through the gross to the subtle.

After class, I came home to cover myself in sesame oil and sit in the dark. This is where you find me now, preparing to go do it again tomorrow. It’s been a wonderful, high, day. I brought team Boston in to meet Sharath, 4 of us all together. It’s really nice to have a posse.

Wish me luck with the elbows tomorrow. OM