Feb 7. Effort Without Tension

It comes up all the time, the question about balancing Santosha (contentment) with effort.  Came up at conference last week-end.  I do believe it’s at the crux of human evolution, yes?  How do we aspire for change (wait a minute: change is inevitable, do we need to aspire?) while being happy with things as they are.

I am feeling that it serves me best this year, and the last few years, to take it easy.  But the funny thing about this practice, is that you get hurt if you don’t stay awake and working throughout.  It’s such a trip, and just like the effort of making things happen in life, slowly slowly, with acceptance of what is, and yet some goal is there.  There’s got to be some dangling carrot.

The effort lies in making the space:  the consistency of waking up and taking practice most days, getting to bed early enough so I have the energy for it, eating clean foods so that I am light enough for it.  But once I get to the practice, I really can’t try so hard.  If I push in the wrong way, the way that is sourced from some sense of need, it just hurts.  It’s got to FEEL GOOD.  That’s what I’m saying.  I am no longer in a place where I would desire to spend my mornings doing something that isn’t enjoyable. 

Here I am on a 2-month mission to Mysore.  It’s easy to get all worked up.  After all these years, and so many trips, I have to say, I’ve seen some asana come and go.  My shoulders are super stiff this year.  I think its from teaching, but could it also be from…heartache?  At this point, it is just never about the physical bod.  Things have gone too deep now. The layers or emotion and mental patterning are inescapable now.

What I see is this:

If I come at the practice like something’s got to happen today—it’s no fun.  It’s all angst.  If I come at the practice like an explorer, with a true sense of curiosity, it’s light, fun, and interesting.  If I go into that room at that ridiculous hour, 4 hours of sleep, constipated, mosquito bitten, people’s arms and legs on all sides, Sharath’s sharp eye on the room, maintaining a willingness to meet whatever happens with acceptance, well I’m doing pretty darn good if I can keep that up for 2 months time.  I guess it was just too easy for me to be happy at 7AM so we had to up the game this year.  And won’t I be enlightened if I can come back Boston and keep up the willingness, the gratitude, the Sound-of-Music style Positivity?

So perhaps the goal of this yoga, then, is to change the mind not the body, eh?  I think back to meeting Ragunath Swami in Mumbai.  He just beams.  He just sits there and beams, while the organization he heads changes the world.